Cold Storage Review
Gruesome and gory, Cold Storage is a great schlocky b-movie.
Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini Romano (Lesley Manville) bury a terrifying space fungus in a military facility. But decades pass, and the military sells it to a storage company. Working the graveyard shift at the storage facility, Teacake (Joe Keery) and Naomi (Georgina Campbell) here a repetitive beeping, and discover not just the old military cold storage facility underneath their feet, but also that the impact of climate change and decades under ground has released the deadly fungus.
Cold Storage never shies away from its low budget roots and schlock value. Whether its Liam Neeson chewing the scenery in an Aussie desert, or the PTA mom costuming, or the fact most of the movie is set in some storage lockers, the film leans into the absurd elements and the disbelievability and focuses instead of realism, on creating a sense of fun.
And the film is no doubt fun. Key to that is the lead duo, Teacake and Naomi, whose banter and budding romance feels natural, lived in and genuinely funny. The film is based on a book, and no doubt some of that wonderfully strong characterisation comes from the source material.
There are some huge names in this film. Neeson, of course, but also Lesley Manville and an inexplicable Vanessa Redgrave. But Joe Keery and Georgina Campbell really steal the show, with a pair of performances anchored in tremendous chemistry and a deep sense of fun.
The film has its foibles. There are logic gaps in abundance, and the visuals and CGI can sometimes leave a lot to be lacking. It is also - full warning - pretty gross at times. And Neeson’s character is largely relegated to phone calls on planes or in cars, with a remarkable shootout at the end finding him entirely on the ground, incapacitated by a bad back. For someone who was so criticised in Taken 3 for being unable or unwilling to do some of the stunts like climbing over a fence or running, and having his stunt double do it, performing the final shoot out full lying down on your back and not moving must feel like a big old ‘f you’ to those haters.
At the end of the day, Cold Storage isn’t going to win any awards for quality. But it’s a film that feels like a perfect blast of fun. The sort of movie that would go gangbusters at a midnight screening at a cinema. The sort of film that feels like a throwback to when movies were focussed on your enjoyment, rather than your education. It’s big, dumb, fun moviemaking, and we’re here for it.
